He died again today –By William Robert Stoy, IV
His name on lips of sorrow,
Said to me,
I, II, and III have passed away
Three, so close to me
Should Four now fear?
I don’t hold life as dear as those who dread their days of end
A comfort close at hand
Holds hope, and I am grateful for the days I have
Though I know now, I’ll never have to hear “he died” again
If only I could live a life so full
As the first, now leaving me
The last of my kind
His funeral a peaceful sight
Death, all too familiar
I guess that’s why I’m not afraid to die
After all, death is no stranger
And certainly no stronger than life
And even shorter
One simply leading to the other
I know they spend their days together now
This brings a smile
A laugh, genuine
Looking around at loved ones left behind
There is no suspected sorrow in the surrender
They have learned to let go
One specific face, sullen
Uneasy, anxious, avoiding
He has not yet learned, though
He takes his time to say goodbye
Wipes his eyes, “Ugh, something in my eye, allergies maybe”.
Clearly in denial
I accept it every time, so easily
I’m not sure why.
I fall in line, the last, ironic
It is now time
To approach in adoration
I step towards the elegant case, funny
We were just joking about how ridiculous,
How elaborate, those boxes we stick ourselves in
Forever
Drop ‘em in the dirt
Cover over
Ourselves, and everything
We’ve done, hopefully
cover over closure
He’s laying so still, so peaceful
A body with the life all out
Like a porcelain doll my grandma made
Man I hope I die as happy as this man
A lovely life long lived
His brow, creased with many thoughts now ceased
His closed eyes, forever holding images of beautiful and terrible things
(Like a treasure chest of paintings)
His lips, content and maybe even smiling
His hair, balding, but there, I cant help but think of mine 'n laugh
His fingers, folded, worn like a man’s hands should be
His skin, simply the surface of an empty container, I remember, wrinkled and old and ready to be buried
“Let me go”, I hear him whispering
“Heh, I know old man, tell them I said hey, and I’ll see you on the flipside”
That is what I say, golly,
It’s easy letting go
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This touched me so deeply... I don't know what to say. It's so raw and truthful and glorious, really. I loved your line about his eyes being a treasure chest of paintings. Such a vivid image.
ReplyDeleteYou have quite a gift, Mr. Stoy. Don't ever stop putting your thoughts into words on a page... or screen.
William Robert Stoy IV,
ReplyDeleteI know you and I have always said we're sick of people commenting on our stuff and being like "wow! this is really good," and missing the whole point. Honestly, it IS very good. Excellent, in fact.
And I think I get all that you're saying. Maybe. :P ...
Totally relate to easily letting go. Almost not understanding why it's so easy to say goodbye, but feeling free to do so. I've never had to say goodbye to someone in a coffin, to someone I'll only ever see again in Heaven... But I said goodbye to plenty of people that the odds of me seeing again are slim to none. :/ Yay South Africa.
I love your perception of life. And I certainly hope you've been writing in between your posts. Because if not, I'm going to hit you the next time I see you.
William, you have the honor of being the fourth of a line of great men. I am the first and last of my kind. Hehe I know it may sound silly, but you've had a name that has been honored and carried for four generations. That's awesome! I will forever be the only Anna Elizabeth Molinari. No legend, no history to live up to.
You, however, have had the burden of carrying a name as well as a reputation. And based on what you told me of your pappy, you have done so. You are not the last of a line, Bill, but the beginning of your own great story. Your very own. You may be a fourth, but you are still the one and only you.
I know this a long comment, but, I feel like I haven't spoken to you about anything meaningful in a long time. And this has turned out to be the perfect opportunity. :D
Along with carrying a name, you carry many blessings from generations before you (with or without being a "Fourth"). As far as I know, all William Robert Stoys were good, perhaps even great men. Including the fourth.
And I bet even the Fifth. ;)
Sometimes...you make me feel stupid. I'll be honest, the first time I read this I was ready to start and end my comment as this: "I really have no idea as to what this is truly about."
ReplyDeleteBut then I was like, hmm. This tells me to read it out loud, read it slow, let it sink in, read it again...
So I did. Then I read Anna's comment and went....OOOOOOOHHHHHhhhhh!!!! I GET it! Heh, dear me, what school has done to my brain.
I'll get the corny, what-everyone-always-says comment out of the way. I do very much so enjoy this, and the picture and emotion you portrayed in this. This makes me think about life. It makes me stop and reflect on how closely I hold on to my own, and even others...which is something I haven't really thought about before.
There's such a different feeling when you know that someone you love who's lived a good life is going somewhere wonderful. You can take comfort in that. Yeah, it's still sad, but in that moment you can rejoice! If I died, and it was my time, and you all knew where I was going, heck I would want you to be happy for me. Where as the saddest and scariest part of letting go of someone is not knowing where they're going.
Reading this, I felt peace and joy and closure. You portrayed this beautifully, and painted a very lovely picture. I could really see this being read at this mans funeral. It would be perfect. This is something that I would want one of my close friends to read at my funeral (except change all he's to she's ;-).
I'm not sure what else to say besides, thank you for the reminder of how death can be comforting. And how the hope we carry needs to be passed on to others, because death is definitely not one of the most scariest things ever. It's what happens after that is comforting or mournful.
Ps. Did I miss something about someone in your family dying recently? Because if I did...I would feel pretty bad.
I just left a huge comment and it got erased... so I'll tell ya what I think in detail when I see you... but seriously amazing...
ReplyDeleteI suppose it tis my turn ;)
ReplyDeleteThe part that struck a chord within me the most was where you said his eyes were closed forver holding the images of beautiful and terrible things. This life we live graces us with seeing the glorious along with the atrocities becuase after seeing destruction the beauty shines more intensly and burns more vivdly in our hearts. Even the destruction is bewitching in its ability to annihilate ... it is perfection to see the man, unaffected with his eyes closed, a simplistic ending to a life constantly revealed through a cloudy lens. What a breathtaking moment when our blindness is overcome and clarity embraces our soul. This life is sure to end, but what a glorious beginning. Your ancestory is a beautiful peice of the man you've become today and never shall that fade away even through death becuase God holds your legacy in his grasp forever. ha, I feel like I made this comment very flowery but for all your pestering I actually took time to write out my thought. Death to me is beautiful and nothing to fear, I am glad that you embrace it. Wonderfully done m'dear, i'll catch you on the flipside sometime soon ;)